I found this poem tonight. I had written it on 4/4/2013 at 1am. This was a poem I wrote to myself; I was realizing and learning how I needed to feel love, instead of just logically knowing that I was loved. At the time I was referring to romantic love. Now I can probably expand this beyond that:
A Poem for Love for Me
It is not enough for me to know I
am loved, I need to Feel it.
I need to feel I am loved.
A week ago I realized a baby portrait of
mine has had barbed wire attached to
it all these years, literally. I could
not hold the portrait tight. I could
not hold it right.
Then I realized, that baby needs to be
held, not looked at. Not put somewhere
to be looked at. He
needs to be held.
And that is me. And it is a daily occurrence,
daily need. I need to feel it
everyday. Anything else is not enough.
Because When I don’t, I shrivel up and recoil,
and get cold and bitter. I cant live like
that.
I need to grow and open my heart,
open up, and bloom. I’ve come too
far, I must
continue opening and growing
I May forget these details, but my heart
will not. My heart knows
that it needs Love it can feel.
My heart will not let me
stay with anything else.
-Dr. Orlando Fernandez
