Funny how in recent weeks I’ve been singing that Charlie Brown Christmas song in my head. It’s funny because its June 5th, in NYC, and it is warm, and very probably going to get much warmer in the next two months.
As a child I had a very emotionally-split relationship with Christmas. I loved the gifts of course, and the large family get-togethers, which thank God we still continue to this day. But because my parents were not around most of the time, because I was raised by my grandparents for the better part of my young childhood, I felt a lacking; a longing. Like many Hispanic households we stayed up celebrating on Christmas Eve till the clock turned midnight, which is when we could open the gifts. Excruciating for a group of young kids just itching and wanting of those gifts 🙂 After opening all the gifts, and all the clamor and excitement, hugs kisses and laughter, yelling etc., everyone would leave our house probably after 1 or 2am. I remember being in the dark after they left, looking at a darkened tree, and feeling that void. I was happy with my gifts, but I didn’t know why I was so sad. Later I figured out that drop from the excitement to the quiet darkness was probably too much too quick for me, and so it felt like a dramatic void. But underlying I think was that I wanted to be with my parents.
Since maybe as a teenager I was not too much of a fan of the Christmas entourage. The decorations, the songs. I think I always related it to this sadness, and so I didn’t feel as joyful with everything Christmas as so many others popularly are.
Ironically, since my grandma has passed two years ago, and since I have commitment from my parents to being a healthier presence, I have enjoyed Christmas now, the whole thing. I long for it actually. The cold days where we wear snug sweaters. Cozying with family and loved ones. Seeing the joy in the kids’ faces and setting up fun things for all of us to enjoy in those special times. Now it’s the first week of June, and I am singing Charlie Brown’s Christmas song in my head, thinking of that scene where the characters are all ice skating to that harmonic melody. While I’m here on the topic, I have to plug Laurel and Hardy’s March of the Wooden Soldiers movie from like 1930’s or 1940’s. That I enjoyed in my childhood 🙂
Please enjoy here Charlie Brown’s Christmas song. By the way, the Vince Guaraldi Trio, who makes those Charlie Brown songs, are so good: