Happy Early Mother’s Day 
And Happy Early Halloween 
I am posting this 2017 podcast audio of me chatting with my mom over a variety of deep, human topics. She is a therapist, substance abuse counselor, and is highly credentialed. But besides that, she is a practicer of much Life, wisdom, love, and deeply challenging human experience.
Tag: acceptance
“It’s better when you let go and surrender because then what’s real will float to the top.”
-Mom =)
It hit me on the bus ride home. It was snowing, peacefully. I was watching the same old scene, the same stores, the Taqueria, the vitamin store, the pizza shop, the lights. And the warmth and peacefulness of the warm, full, quiet bus, and the dark but lit road outside, with people bustling across the narrow street. This is what my life is. This is what it could be every single day, in a way. Me staying a little late to help my coworker teammates with a task. Me being ready to do a little more work tonight at 10pm from home, and then some more careful work tomorrow. Everyone just accepting that this is the life, their life.
And it was a beautiful thought, a beautiful moment. Tears flowed down my face while the bus stopped to pick up a cold couple from the bus stop. I didn’t want those people to see me crying, but it didn’t really matter. This is NYC, I generally don’t know these people. But they are part of my neighborhood fabric in a way.
A beauty to accepting this is my life. The life I have been granted. A life I have worked for, and also have been blessed with.
Thank God.
Thankfully….
“I don’t think it’s about whether someone’s right for you. It’s whether you both want to make it right. Like there is no perfect person, there is no perfect partner. There’s only the person that wants to make it work with you and the person you want to make it work with. And if someone doesn’t want to make it work with you it doesn’t matter how perfect you think they are, it’s not gonna work.”
-Jay Shetty
Let me quote my mom and myself for a minute.
Yesterday my mom texted me: “I finally have an armoire to put my sheets in. Yay! So silly the things that make you happy when you get to my age. Have a wonderul day. Love you!!!” And I replied to her: “It’s beautiful when the simple things make you happy mom 
”
I have been struggling with gratitude recently. As I said to someone a few days ago:
“I feel like the practice of gratitude for me…I have to keep working on it….its like I get called / lured away from this gratitude, by these social cues / lures for things that I desire, not really material things but more ideas of a ‘better life’, like an amazing self-business or making so much $ from selling books, or having the whole family and everything with amazing job….but I look at people with fame, with $ and status, with great work, and I know they have sacrificed, probably things I dont want to sacrifice, things I truly value, like the people in my life, my loved ones. health, people, meaning and comfort. so this means that really, I think I have what I value the most, and I dont want to lose it soon, not before its natural time….I have to be grateful. and its this constant exercise of not only telling myself that this life is ok, but looking at it in its gorgeous illustrious beauty, because it is beautiful. gratitude really gives us beautiful lenses to see everything with.”
So, I think it is beautiful when we can appreciate the small, simple things. In fact I think appreciating the small simple things expands them in a way to be bigger and even more beautiful things. A key to happiness? Hmm….
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The Comfort Zone
“Whatever your Comfort Zone consists of, you pay a huge price for it. Life provides endless possibilities, but along with them comes pain. If you can’t tolerate pain, you can’t be fully alive. There are many different examples of this. If you’re shy and avoid people, then you lose the vitality that comes with a sense of community. If you’re creative but can’t tolerate criticism, then you avoid selling your ideas to the marketplace. If you’re a leader but you can’t confront people, no one will follow you. The Comfort Zone is supposed to keep your life safe, but what it really does is keep your life small.”
-Phil Stutz & Barry Michels, from their book The Tools
“Stay focused in the moment. Be where your feet are.”
-Robert Saleh (Head Coach of the New York Jets)
Was told about this art form, kintsugi. When I looked it up, one of the first things it says is “As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.”
That hit me hard. You know we all have wounds. Whether some are from earlier or later in life, or both. Some deeper, some more surface level. I guess I had thought that healing means completely recuperating in a way where the wound is no longer visible, impactful, or perhaps even memorable. But how realistic is that? And, who are we if we get rid of these wounds?
Wounds can be beautiful too. Maybe it depends on how you incurred them, why, and what you do with them – how you carry them. They are part of us, aren’t they.
No matter what, know that things can get better.
No matter where you are. Or what is going on. Regardless of the impacts of the past, the future can be very unpredictable.
No matter what we think is going to happen, or how we believe things will turn out, we don’t consciously know it all. We don’t know the details. And so often, wild, crazy things have entered into Life to be a part of reality.
Keep positive. Keep open. And definitely, please, stay real.
Keeping positive doesn’t mean denying the truth of the moment. Positivity that can spark change is about accepting the truth of the moment, being a “Yes” to it, with humility, love, connection, and optimism. Imagine the number of people who have done the worst things, and then turned their lives around. Imagine the many miracles people have experienced with seemingly no rhyme or reason, but which have been saving graces in their lives?
Keep positive my friends. Real to your self, your core, your Soul. And yet, positive. Loving. Accepting. Forgiving. Loving. Loving. Loving.
Blessings to you and yours. And all. One Love.
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Inviting, Allowing a New Home
Since the chaos of my move has decreased a bit, I’ve been sad in my new apartment for the last few days. It hit me this morning that I wasn’t letting go of my concept of “home” which has always been in my heart my childhood home that I grew up in. Now that home belongs to another family, and my grandma who always provided that home has passed away a year ago.
I think I have to “invite” this new home to be my home in my heart. Or something. Here is a video with some thoughts on this.
Blessings.
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Moving. Again
Blessings on you all.
This is the 3rd time I’m moving this year.
The first time was moving my stuff out of my childhood (and parts of my adulthood) home. Quite painful. We had to sell it. Thankfully I had many weeks to do the moving, which meant I had time to process emotionally, and could properly say goodbye. It was difficult.
The second time was a couple of weeks ago, moving from my office to another space where I would have no privacy. This again meant loss of space and having to throw many things out.
Now I’m moving from my rental to my 1st co-op (yay!). But, I’m still throwing things out. This whole thing is difficult, throwing things out. Deciding. Letting go. And moving spaces.
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The Door is Within
The Door is within.
What the heck does that mean?
I feel like, whatever it is I’m looking for, asking for, wanting…, the access is inside.
It’s not like I need to search and find the door, the “thing”, somewhere out there. Maybe something specific, sure it is physically outside of your body. But as if it does not arrive in your path unless you have opened the door inside you. And that door is arrived as a vibration of your mind, your emotion, your being.
Imagine if you vibrate at certain levels, you actually see different things that exist on those levels. In this case, your own vibration is the door you are looking for to bring that which you want to you.
Now whether or not that thing is a good thing, is a different story, and one I might as well get to here : )
I say, shoot for health. Or meaning.
“If you never let yourself feel sad, how do you ever feel happy?”
-Punky Brewster (episode 1)
I have found this to be true: You cannot selectively numb emotions. You cant just say “I’m going to avoid feeling pain so I can always feel happy” – they come hand-in-hand. Like a flow, flowing through you.
I think the healthiest is when we can allow that flow, even the flow of pain. It is said that suffering is resistance to pain.
So the point here being: perhaps pain is inevitable, and that flow which allows pain is required to also allow happiness. When you restrict the flow, to avoid pain, you cause suffering. Allowing pain is healthy; a pure pain is a cleansing pain, and even may incorporate pure beauty. A stifled, blocked pain can lead to the blocking of other healthy emotions, including happiness.
My uncle is about to pass away. He battled many things, one of which is addiction. I love him dearly.
My grandma passed away in late June. She raised me.
There was a challenging, yet beautiful connection between my grandma and my uncle (mom and son). I think they needed each other in some ways.
Love you both. I am glad my heart feels your loss…it will be a way to connect with you.
At a loss for public words.
My heart aches.
Be loved.
Right now, looks like I’m going through another identity shift or movement.
Im wondering whether I need to relax on myself, and my standards of discipline, a little, so that more joy enters my life.
I work really hard and diligently. My life is filled with beauty, love, blessings, and grace. Even with all these blessings, I have been missing a more consistent joy that I want. Even acknowledging that I want this joy, and having an idea of how to allow it (by relaxing more on my requirements and discipline), I feel better and more relaxed. Truly, I want to treat myself sweeter.
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“The secret of the world is this: The world is entirely circular and you will go round and round endlessly, never finding what you want, unless you have found what you really want inside yourself.“
-Jeanette Winterson
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“But then, perhaps every event in life is like that: filling you up and emptying you out, all at the same time.”
-Ken Wilber, Grace and Grit
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“To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear.”
-Stephen Levine, mentioned in the book: No Recipe: Cooking as a Spiritual Practice
Our health is connected to our neighbor’s health.
I heard this statement somewhere on the radio, some days ago.
It’s a reminder that we are all connected.
“Patience, understanding, and helping each other is the best thing we can do at this time” –Z, the landlord
This is an ancient concept: suffering is pain multiplied by resistance.
What this means is that the more we resist pain, the more suffering we endure.
The belief behind this is that pain in Life is inevitable. But suffering is an option.
Of course you can think of things you do to avoid unnecessary pain. But, what about necessary pain? It is in these times, when pain is necessary, that we need to allow it to work its purpose, or else we experience a suffering that comes from nonacceptance.
Short video from Meg LeFauve, writer/director for Pixar Animation Studios. Here she seamlessly weaves together faith, determination, belief, vulnerability, courage through fear, and other values, talking about her career.
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An Example of Love
“Love is complete when one human being says to another:
You have wounded me and disappointed me.
You have hurt me beyond description.
But I forgive you with all my heart
because I believe you will heal me also
and I refuse to lose faith in you.
I too have not been blameless.
We need to forgive each other.“
-Anthony T. Padovano
What do you do when you have control?
You make the right choice.
In other words, act responsibly with the power you wield. This is your chance to perpetuate harmony, or to cause disharmony, in your life. Life will reciprocate to you harmony or disharmony, based on how you handle the power you wield.
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Very Imperfect Beings We Are
Very imperfect beings we are.
-Myself accidentally doing a Yoda impression
We are beautiful, and spiritually cleaning ourselves, when we keep looking and loving for healthy answers.