If you dont see many signs,
it can be difficult to believe.
The irony is,
if you believe,
you will see more signs.
Author: ojinoto
Trying to do good. Born and raised and living in NYC.
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A Map of the World
“One of the ancient maps of the world
is heart-shaped, carefully drawn
and once washed with bright colors,
though the colors have faded
as you might expect feelings to fade
from a fragile old heart, the brown map
of a life. But feeling is indelible,
and longing infinite, a starburst compass
pointing in all the directions
two lovers might go, a fresh breeze
swelling their sails, the future uncharted,
still far from the edge
where the sea pours into the stars.”
-Ted Kooser
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“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
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“You don’t have to be where you think you want to be in order to be happy. You just gotta be on the way to where you want to be in order to be happy.”
-“Abraham Hicks”
I was feeling good, then the egg yolk broke.
And I felt a moment of disappointment, but went back to feeling good.
It wouldn’t have mattered if the egg yolk had stayed intact, I would have still felt disappointed at something.
Then, in the same way, it would be up to me to feel better 🙂
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Meaning is Different for Everybody
Meaning is different for everybody.
You have to follow your own meaning.
I want to Be Happy
Where I am Now.
Nothing else can come and
Give me Happiness.
The Key to Happiness is only found
In this Moment.
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Open
Open,
OPEN,
OPEN UP to the Beautiful Life I have Now.
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“…if there’s one thing that I’ve come to realize, if there’s one thing that I see as the biggest problem,
it’s not in building a world where we eliminate the ignorance of others.
It’s in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,
where we’re okay with who we are, because when we get honest, we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.”
Kevin Breel – Confessions of a depressed comic TED talk
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Vulnerability is a Powerful Thing
Vulnerability is a powerful thing. It directly helps to counteract shame. Vulnerability and empathy. Which all leads to compassion.
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“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters to a Young Poet
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Be Open to All the Universe Has For You
“Be open to all the universe has for you.
And be confident that you’re ready.”
-Zoraida Diaz
It seems every human inevitably has dirt.
Loving myself, while being aware of dirt with me, and giving everyday effort to use the dirt for good as possible, helps me to connect with and love someone else, as I may see dirt with others from time to time.
Stay open, friends.
Stay open.
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Accept Thyself
“In the journey toward the goal of ideal self-expression, we must use negative feedback data to correct course, as in any other goal-striving situation.
This requires admitting to ourselves–and accepting the fact–that our personality, our expressed self, or what some psychologists call our ‘actual self,’ is always imperfect and short of the mark.
No one ever succeeds during a lifetime in fully expressing or bringing into the actuality all the potentialities of the real self. In our actual, expressed self, we never exhaust all the possibilities and powers of the real self. We can always learn more, perform better, behave better. The actual self is necessarily imperfect. Throughout life it is always moving toward an ideal goal, but never arriving. The actual self is not a static but a dynamic thing. It is never completed and final, but always in a state of growth.
It is important that we learn to accept this actual self, with all its imperfections, because it is the only vehicle we have.”
-Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics
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Musings of Gratitude
I was at my cousin’s 30th birthday celebration last night, and when I asked him if there was something specific he asked for, he answered me with something like “nothing except health; health for me and my family, my friends and their family.” Then he started talking beautifully about how grateful he was, in general. He spoke for quite a bit of time, maybe 10minutes or more, about how he feels so much gratitude on a daily basis.
His waxing was beautiful and seemed to help me. I want to offer a small summary from my memory here:
“My girlfriend bought me this new watch, but it was at the bottom of this box of new sweats. When I opened the box I saw the sweats and thought that was my birthday gift from her, and I was so happy for them. After she led me to find the new watch, she said ‘how could you be happy with just sweats for a gift?’ I told her ‘I was so grateful that you got me something to keep me warm.’
I dont need an expensive meal, I’m happy if we go to Wendys.
All these people here at this celebration. They could be anywhere. They could be anywhere but they chose to be here. Some came from Jersey and other far parts of NY. And they’re here with me. I’m so grateful.
People are so busy. They have their own priorities and have very little time. Any time they give is a gift. Any time at all they choose to give me is a gift.
I used to feel I had to be in control of things. I thought by the age of 25 I would be married with 2 kids already. I used to be so upset that I didnt have this great job like my brother. But everyone has their own time. For some people it could be 25, for some it could be 30, for some it could be 35….
I have so much acceptance now. I had to learn to relax. To let things go. I dont have to be in control. Things will work out.”
I mentioned that it sounded like he had built a muscle of gratitude, and that he works out this muscle and it gets stronger; something like developing gratitude as a skill. He completely agreed.
Thank you for all of this.
Theres so much out there to explore.
Then again, theres so much in here to be grateful for.
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This year 2016 I have been straightedge. This means no substances, such as tobacco, alcohol or THC. I am trying to make it through the rest of this year this way, which would be a miracle for me. I dont know if I could ever believe it except for the fact that I’m actually doing it.
I still feel the pull to alcohol sometimes. When I get lonely, or am exasperated by feeling stuck, or not knowing what direction to take, or what the heck I’m doing at the moment, I can feel the pull to put it all away for a bit with a drink.
But, I cant. I cannot drink again. Any more. Ever.
Not a sip. Nothing. Nada.
Ever. Ever. Again. Never. Ever. Ever. Never.
Please help me to stay sober, today. And all todays.
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“Whatever You Can Get, You Can Unget”
I’m very happy that when the speaker of this talk asked “What do you need to get to be happy?”, I said “nothing.”
The word “get” triggered that this would be a dependency, and, I dont believe I need a dependency for happiness.
There may be situations that help, but no matter what, happiness is accessible, I think.
Easy for me to say in my apartment, secure, safe, warm, healthy, loved, ambitious, alive, and vibrant.
But, Thank God, it is easy for me to say.
Finally been able to upload the talk I gave at the NYU Bookstore, July 21, 2016.
The talk mostly covers some thoughts on writing itself, but towards the end I briefly speak about my book Spark The Flame.
Please forgive the low video quality.
Enjoy 🙂
Breathe
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Put Your Heart into it, and Believe
Put Your Heart into it, and Believe
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Doc: “If you feel the bumps, you know you can smooth them out.”
This means, most of the time, it is better to feel the bumps, than to numb them. Feeling provides you information, direction, insight, experience…”the fruit of Life“.
I am honored, grateful, and more than excited to be invited to participate at a live event at the NYU Bookstore on July 21, 2016, from 6pm – 7:30pm. The event is focused on self-publishing, and I am one of a few authors who will be talking about the experience.
I am going to use the opportunity to talk about some things I find very important for writing: voice; writing as art/passion; inspiration/creativity.
I will also briefly talk about my book Spark The Flame, and will be very excited to talk to anyone there, sign books, etc.
Thank you 🙂
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“Though we travel the world to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Last year in April I walked the labyrinth at the basement of Marble Collegiate Church.
This is what I wrote during that walk:
Go forward in sacredness
You do not go forward
without the sacredness /
unless you invite the sacredness
How sacred and special
this Life is
Every part is just as
valuable as every other part
Before you know it,
you’re there.
It’s the journey that is sacred
There is no piece that is more valuable than any other
It is all sacred space
This is a sacred walk.
Life, is a sacred walk.
Stand still, until you
feel, acknowledge,
Breath the sacredness
with every breath:
If the breath is not sacred,
stand still until it is,
until you can walk with
sacred breath again.
The path will always have
difficulty, that is the
nature of the path.
This is so important. So important.
To build and have an ongoing compassionate relationship with yourself.
You know you are trying hard. And if you’re not trying very hard, and this is bothering you, then start, love. Try harder to do what you need to do, and be what you need to be.
When you are trying, either from the beginning, or further on a certain road, you need to be ok with who you are, and where you are. Your challenges, or positive traits, may help describe how we live our lives, but we are not the culmination of everything we do. We are deeper. This is to say, you are more than what you think and see, and dont beat yourself down for what you observe. Change it, with an understanding of our humanity.
If I could kiss every moment,
with full blown lips,
I would tell it “Thank you for being here,”
to let it know that its
presence is appreciated.
You know, I can do this.