“We often see the grass greener on the other side, but it is only green where you water it and nurture it.”
-Maximus Escouri
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Sacred Space is Right Here
“Do we live in a profane world, or do we say ‘Yes, indeed, sacred space is right here….’
Instead of aiming to go somewhere else, where everything is so much better, the Zen imperative is to recognize that the sacred is here by practicing, living, cooking in the way of sacred space.
You practice making sincere and wholehearted effort. You do not think with ordinary mind, and you do not see with ordinary eyes. You let things come and abide in your heart and let your heart return and abide in things.”
-Edward Espe Brown, No Recipe (cooking as spiritual practice)
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Everything is Sacred and Alive
The following is part of a lucid dream, as recorded by Robert Waggoner in his book “Lucid Dreaming”:
I stop and look intently at the deep darkness. Is there evil in there?
Then, from within, I hear a voice deliver this message: “The light upholds the darkness.”And suddenly I know that behind all apparent evil or darkness is light; band that it’s light that gives us the sense of darkness.
Then I hear: “Everything is sacred and alive.” I intuitively realize that the light is in every living creature as a condition of its existence.
And then I hear something more clarifying: “Even the space between your fingers is sacred and alive.” I look at my outstretched hand and see the space between my fingers, that precious emptiness, and know with clarity that I live in a sacred universe, where even the apparent emptiness is aware and alive. With form or without, all is sacred and alive.
-Robert Waggoner, Lucid Dreaming
Rest in Peace Charlie Kirk.
A man with a family. I believe it when they say he was a loving father and husband.
I disagreed with him for much or most of what I’ve seen him say. But, maybe it was his appearance on Jubilee, where I saw the entire 1-hour or so episode, or maybe it was somewhere else, I felt I saw his human side. I was touched by it. I felt like I knew him, I don’t know why.
I created a video about this but I took it down because the night of his death I was shown many clips where he had said negative things, and I don’t want to support those negative things he said that caused pain in other people, and I don’t want to support things he said that were dangerous or de-valuing of human life.
I don’t normally post on current events or divisive topics but I’m posting because I feel this moment needs us to see the humanity in each other.
We all have humanity. Charlie Kirk had a beautiful side, just like us all. We should bring beauty into this moment by preaching love and acceptance.
When we disagree, it is better that we do it with a love and compassion for all. Every person out there deserves to be treated as a human, with respect and humanity.
Rest in Peace Charlie Kirk, and all who have died. And may the greatest human compassion be brought to all who are suffering.
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Even Negative Things Have a Sacredness
Even negative things have a sacredness to them, in their struggle. Don’t sacrifice their sacredness for your ego.
Example: Someone I love is having problems abusing medications, they’re unable to stop. I can turn on a music video with a catchy song about someone’s pill addiction problem, maybe I turn it on to make a joke for my entertainment, or to compare myself to “feel good” that I don’t have this problem. This is sacrificing the sacredness simply to feed the ego. Honor someone’s struggle, including your own. It is sacred. And while humor can be therapeutic and I believe even spiritual, ask yourself, are you feeding your Spirit or your Ego? With any move you make, are you feeding your Spirit, or your Ego?
“Motivation, Resilience and be Fearless in the Pursuit of what Sets your Soul on Fire.”
-Anthony, President of the Board
By now you may have heard of many studies finding that the health of our personal human relationships is the biggest indicator of how happy we might be. In other words, the healthier our connections and relationships, the more likely we are overall satisfied with life.
There was a related finding in a recent New York Times article that I found interesting, that small, random acts of connection with strangers can help increase our happiness for the day. Here’s a few quotes:
“…conducted an experiment in which they asked people to interact with strangers on public transit — to try to have a moment of connection — and found that the commuters seemed to get a mood boost from the exercise. Epley and Schroeder’s research and other studies have found that people underestimated both how much they would enjoy the experience and how open the strangers would be to it. ‘We have this innate reluctance to socially connect, particularly with strangers — and then we’re happier when we make ourselves. I find it a really useful thing to know.'”
“What she found more surprising was just how effective even having smaller points of connection throughout the day could be for happiness — and how achievable that is, if people could only overcome their own hesitation. ‘If someone were to ask me what’s the one thing you could do tomorrow to be happier, that’s my answer: having a conversation with someone — or a deeper conversation than you normally do,’ she says. Talking to strangers — on trains, in a coffee shop, at the playground, on line at the D.M.V., in the waiting room at the doctor’s office — could be dismissed as an exercise that simply makes the time pass. But it could also be seen as a moving reflection of how eager we all are, every day, to connect with other humans whose interiority would otherwise be a mystery, individuals in whose faces we might otherwise read threat, judgment, boredom or diffidence. Talking to strangers guarantees novelty, possibly even learning. It holds the promise, each time, of unexpected insight.”
“Lyubomirsky’s own research, over many years, pointed toward the importance of a person’s mind-set: Happy people tended to refrain from comparing themselves with others, had more positive perceptions of others, found ways to be satisfied with a range of choices and did not dwell on the negative.”
“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
Strong, long-term relationships with spouses, family and friends built on deep trust — not achievement, not fortune or fame — were what predicted well-being.”
From the following New York Times article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/magazine/happiness-research-studies-relationships.html
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We are Feeling Machines that Think
“We are not necessarily thinking machines, we are feeling machines that think.”
-Antonio Dimasio, M.D. Ph.D., from Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart
A very interesting quote that reminds me of how central and powerful feeling is to our human experience.
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Graduation Pics
While I technically graduated this past September, I finally celebrated the official graduation ceremony this past Friday, May 9, 2025. Here is a photo of myself and my advisor, Erich Dietrich, who hooded me as a Doctor of Education 🙂
Funny, before the ceremony when I was in the bathroom, it hit me: I look just like Erich! Meaning, our gowns were essentially the same. This was a realization that I am on the same degree level as him now, as well as being on the same level as my other professors. It’s a pretty amazing realization. And during the ceremony he sat next to me in the audience and walked on stage with me – again signifying this equal level of education attainment. Of course he has much more experience, research, etc., but the degree levels are the same. It really helps me understand where I am at in regards to education, position, and potential.
Here are a few other photos from May 14, 2025, the NYU celebration Grad Alley, where the streets around campus are blocked and filled with food, carnival games, music and entertainers, and other fun things to celebrate graduation. It was raining plenty but I wanted to celebrate, and celebrate I did =D
Dr. Orlando Fernandez
“Surrender to the Perfection of Imperfection.”
This was a quote from my cousin. What the heck does it mean? He was talking in reference to relationships, where each person must sacrifice and accept imperfection in a sort of surrender, and that is how things balance and continue to function.
If the world were perfect, I don’t think there would be laughter. Laughter comes from imperfection, doesn’t it?
“Cada sacrificio merece su recompensa.” (quoted in Spanish)
-Alfredo
“Faith is not the absence of struggle, but trusting God through it.”
-Church
Happy Early Mother’s Day 😆 And Happy Early Halloween 😊 I am posting this 2017 podcast audio of me chatting with my mom over a variety of deep, human topics. She is a therapist, substance abuse counselor, and is highly credentialed. But besides that, she is a practicer of much Life, wisdom, love, and deeply challenging human experience.
“It’s better when you let go and surrender because then what’s real will float to the top.”
-Mom =)
How about some music? Some days ago I happened upon this old song. I remember this song from childhood but the chorus would only ever be played, whether for a commercial, a movie, etc. Listening to the entire song now, it’s really masterful to my ears, almost haunting actually, beautifully. Enjoy 🙂
(Released January 1967)
The biggest difference between those who succeed and those who fail at any endeavor is their level of commitment. Most people would like to be committed. But in practice, commitment requires an endless series of small painful actions. When a person has no way to deal with that pain, [their] commitment falls apart.
-Phil Stutz and Barry Michels from “The Tools”
It hit me on the bus ride home. It was snowing, peacefully. I was watching the same old scene, the same stores, the Taqueria, the vitamin store, the pizza shop, the lights. And the warmth and peacefulness of the warm, full, quiet bus, and the dark but lit road outside, with people bustling across the narrow street. This is what my life is. This is what it could be every single day, in a way. Me staying a little late to help my coworker teammates with a task. Me being ready to do a little more work tonight at 10pm from home, and then some more careful work tomorrow. Everyone just accepting that this is the life, their life.
And it was a beautiful thought, a beautiful moment. Tears flowed down my face while the bus stopped to pick up a cold couple from the bus stop. I didn’t want those people to see me crying, but it didn’t really matter. This is NYC, I generally don’t know these people. But they are part of my neighborhood fabric in a way.
A beauty to accepting this is my life. The life I have been granted. A life I have worked for, and also have been blessed with.
Thank God.
Thankfully….
“I don’t think it’s about whether someone’s right for you. It’s whether you both want to make it right. Like there is no perfect person, there is no perfect partner. There’s only the person that wants to make it work with you and the person you want to make it work with. And if someone doesn’t want to make it work with you it doesn’t matter how perfect you think they are, it’s not gonna work.”
-Jay Shetty
Let me quote my mom and myself for a minute.
Yesterday my mom texted me: “I finally have an armoire to put my sheets in. Yay! So silly the things that make you happy when you get to my age. Have a wonderul day. Love you!!!” And I replied to her: “It’s beautiful when the simple things make you happy mom ❤️”
I have been struggling with gratitude recently. As I said to someone a few days ago:
“I feel like the practice of gratitude for me…I have to keep working on it….its like I get called / lured away from this gratitude, by these social cues / lures for things that I desire, not really material things but more ideas of a ‘better life’, like an amazing self-business or making so much $ from selling books, or having the whole family and everything with amazing job….but I look at people with fame, with $ and status, with great work, and I know they have sacrificed, probably things I dont want to sacrifice, things I truly value, like the people in my life, my loved ones. health, people, meaning and comfort. so this means that really, I think I have what I value the most, and I dont want to lose it soon, not before its natural time….I have to be grateful. and its this constant exercise of not only telling myself that this life is ok, but looking at it in its gorgeous illustrious beauty, because it is beautiful. gratitude really gives us beautiful lenses to see everything with.”
So, I think it is beautiful when we can appreciate the small, simple things. In fact I think appreciating the small simple things expands them in a way to be bigger and even more beautiful things. A key to happiness? Hmm….
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The Comfort Zone
“Whatever your Comfort Zone consists of, you pay a huge price for it. Life provides endless possibilities, but along with them comes pain. If you can’t tolerate pain, you can’t be fully alive. There are many different examples of this. If you’re shy and avoid people, then you lose the vitality that comes with a sense of community. If you’re creative but can’t tolerate criticism, then you avoid selling your ideas to the marketplace. If you’re a leader but you can’t confront people, no one will follow you. The Comfort Zone is supposed to keep your life safe, but what it really does is keep your life small.”
-Phil Stutz & Barry Michels, from their book The Tools
“Doing something with all your heart gives things meaning”
The above is a re-worded quote from a nice book: The Dog Who Followed the Moon by James Norbury.
I think there is truth in that meaning can arise from what we put into something. Especially if it is with all your heart. What does it mean to do something “with all your heart?”
I guess it means you put your entire self into what you are doing.
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A Poem for Love for Me
I found this poem tonight. I had written it on 4/4/2013 at 1am. This was a poem I wrote to myself; I was realizing and learning how I needed to feel love, instead of just logically knowing that I was loved. At the time I was referring to romantic love. Now I can probably expand this beyond that:
A Poem for Love for Me
It is not enough for me to know I
am loved, I need to Feel it.
I need to feel I am loved.
A week ago I realized a baby portrait of
mine has had barbed wire attached to
it all these years, literally. I could
not hold the portrait tight. I could
not hold it right.
Then I realized, that baby needs to be
held, not looked at. Not put somewhere
to be looked at. He
needs to be held.
And that is me. And it is a daily occurrence,
daily need. I need to feel it
everyday. Anything else is not enough.
Because When I don’t, I shrivel up and recoil,
and get cold and bitter. I cant live like
that.
I need to grow and open my heart,
open up, and bloom. I’ve come too
far, I must
continue opening and growing
I May forget these details, but my heart
will not. My heart knows
that it needs Love it can feel.
My heart will not let me
stay with anything else.
-Dr. Orlando Fernandez
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Happy Halloween Birthday :)
The world belongs to optimists.
That’s all you have to say.
Just keep your eyes on those blue skies
And you will find the way…
To climb the mountain of success-
Now here’s the magic key:
That while you earn, you have to learn
To help humanity.
-Dr. Robert Kavesh (recently deceased)
“O God, please give me the grace to welcome the unexpected, to see your blessing in every moment and to be awed by holiness wherever encountered.”
-From a prayer of Our Lady of Lourdes
“A Decision Can Change Your Life” – Janine Diaz
“Stay focused in the moment. Be where your feet are.”
-Robert Saleh (Head Coach of the New York Jets)